Last day on 100 mg, I think. I’ve been calling around to psychiatrists in my husband’s insurance network and it’s incredibly out of date despite the “Information updated on 3/22/2009” fine print. Someone’s not doing his or her job. I’m tired and don’t care to call around some more and deal with some nurse sounds pissed off for working in a “looney bin” and won’t give me a referral number.
So I’m left to my own devices for now and will be dropping down to 75 mg tomorrow. I’m just not sure I’ll find a psychiatrist who’s supportive enough to take me on as a patient only to lose me again in the end. Maybe the $400 2-hour intake with that Christian psychiatrist might be worth the money although I really balk at the cost.
In the meantime, I still am not sleeping well and have been sleeping all sorts of wacky hours. My job came back at me with an offer of more work but I declined this time. My job is to remain alert and catch errors and I am FAR from it. I don’t even feel safe driving right now. My comprehension level for anything is total and utter poop.
I’m simply alive and surviving. That’s all that can be asked from day to day, right? I’ll still make a few posts and my apologies in advance if they’re somewhat incoherent.
depression introspection 
I suppose you might know I’d suggest cutting a much smaller than 25% cut…anyway…you know you can talk to me if you want…
I agree with Gianna.
Strangely enough for some people it’s more difficult to withdraw when the end of the process is near.
Go slowly.
Self-acceptance is a problem for most human beings.
I have the fortune t say that after I was 40-years-old it was much easier to accept the way I am and I feel much better than in my twenties.
I think the same will happen to you since you are working on that.
I don’t see any incoherence in what you’re saying.
Lack of sleep makes thinking more difficult.
You have to remember that.
Love,
Ana
Yes, day to day is the best you that should you ever expect from yourself, no pressure to write here, but i do enjoy the updates to know you are OK.
((HUGSSSSS)))
Gianna,
I dropped down to 90 mg today. You’re right. I’m still so messed up that I think the 10% change won’t hurt me too much…
I don’t mean any harm, but don’t fall for the “christian psychiatrist” crap. Just find a GOOD psychiatrist it shouldn’t matter what religion they subscribe to. (and I’m a Christian).
dear marissa,
remember it’s not a race. you can stop and wait until you feel better before continuing at all…
Lamictal is what kicked my ass…not to scare you because there are people who literally don’t have issues with it at all…
but everytime I lost functioning I was tapering lamictal…I had 400 mg to do and took breaks and switched to other drugs to taper and I’d be okay…then I’d resume the Lamictal and get worse again…it’s my nemisis..it will always be the drug I hate the most…
it seems to have triggered all my physical disability…again, of course, I was on MULTIPLE meds and my situation of complex in ways yours simply isn’t, but I still hope you will be cautious and careful because I don’t want anyone even approaching how sick I am.
peace.
Oh my goodness!!!! i am in tears right now after reading this. I AM GOING THROUGH HELL and NO ONE understands. I have been off lamictal for 24 days now and i didn’t find this site until after i stopped lamictal and of course typed in lamictal withdraw and insomnia. Not much show but this does.
This is sooooooooooo hard. I am getting some sleep some nights but mainly 2-3-4 hrs. interrupted and I’m not tired is the scary part.
I talked to the pharmacist today and he told me its been too long to get back on, take trazadone as my dr instructed…so i bought melatonin…which is kinda a joke since benedryl and xanax are not doing the trick anymore (don’t want to overdue it on xanax as thats of course a depressant and i ‘ve been tapering off that for some time).
I have a 4 year old, i have to work at a new job tomorrow (1st since panic disorder overtook my life 2 years ago). I am trying my hardest to “tough” this out, but 24 days and with lack of sleep you feel down. And i was really not feling down at first, i felt super energy filled, but not like manic, like buzzy, like a bee. I am sorry if this is so random, i feel delerious.
I guess i am going to give this melatonin a shot tonight but i wish a dr or pharmacy could give me an answer of whats going on….a time frame…..i feel awful.
This is such a negative post, i am sorry but i am in tears that there are others like me out there. I need support right now.
Dear Marigold,
I am currently coming off of lamictal after almost 5 years and I too feel like I’m going thu hell and know one understands just how hard this is. I go to one instant high where I have this energy from no where and Im walking back and forth and cant stay still to another in a course of maybe 10 minutes then Im feeling like I got hit by a train and I start to feel sad and/or angry. I sometimes feel like Im in a dream, kinda floating. 5 years ago I was taking 800mg a day (400mg twice a day) and now I am currently down to 100mg. I really dont know if I can actually come off of this drug, Im not me, I dont feel like me and the person I have started to become isnt who I want to be. My sleeping is horrible, Im always tired but, when I do sleep it is only 2-4 hours at a time. My hair had started to fall out a little too, I used to have really thick curly hair(5yrs ago) and now, it’s kind of thin. Although this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, I have to go forth with all I got, and I wish you that same strength. God Bless You and feel free to contact me *Kishanne
There’s a book out now called “I Choose to be Happy” by Missy Jenkins at missyjenkins.com. She was paralyzed in the 1997 Paducah school shooting. It’s a great book that can give people a new outlook on life and appreciate what they have. Just an idea. God bless.
marigold, thanks for posting your story here. I was wondering if my symptoms of insomnia were just me but the more I hear stories and testimony from others, the more I realize it’s NOT just in my head.
I would love to know if melatonin works…
Marissa,
the stuff I told you about is better than melatonin…I’ve used melatonin…frankly I think it messes with sleep cycles and gives me a hangover…
but certainly try it if you want…we all act different and it won’t hurt but be aware it’s a hormone and not completely harmless.
when I said not completely harmless I meant for long term use…I don’t think it would hurt to give it a brief shot…
i stopped taking Lamictal altogether a week ago and i feel so empty and depressed. i dropped down from 200 to 100mg for two weeks then dropped down to nothing after that. i have to go off of it because i want to get pregnant and i can’t be on it. i feel so worthless most of the time. all i want to do is sleep. this is the hardest thing i’ve ever gone off of.
susan,
what you’ve done is not safe…you can still reinstate and start over and do it slowly. it’s not too late.
I was on lamictal for 6 years, 400mlgs for the past 2 years. At the same time I was on 60mlgs of Ritalin. I had been on psychiatric drugs for 12 straight years when I quit everything cold-turkey in November of 2009. I have now gone 13 and one half months drug free, but I am STILL going through withdrawal as my body tries to re-learn to do everything that the drugs ruined. My coordination became awful and my balance and timing got horrible too. My vision was bad and I had a very tight back that needed adjusting every week. Only after 12 years was I bright enough to think that all this crap happening to me could be the drugs. I know I screwed up by going cold-turkey, but I was SO pissed off!!! I think I have another 8 months to go before I am fully healed and I pray that there has been no long-term damage to my brain and body. I can’t believe the effing FDA approves this crap.
My wife has been on 250mg Lamictal (100 morning/150 night) for about 6 years in addition to 3 other psychotropic drugs (800mg Lithium for 6 years, 600mg Quetiapine for two years, 20mg Escitalopram for 3 years). She has been on every possible psychotropic drug for about 12 years, diagnosed with all the diseases you could possibly think of, and suffered 3 strokes and brain damage which impinge on her everyday living, this includes severe cognitive defcit, tardive dyskinesia and agraphia (her usual neat writing is now like a 7 year old) plus others. We are now getting independent advice and part of the current steps are to reduce and eliminate all these dangerous drugs slowly and take this serious problem to court for medical negligence. Whilst it is not my intention to frighten anybody here (as we all have different profiles) I recommend everyone to read the following books, they are a must and a mine of information for anyone considering withdrawal.
Dr David Healy’s “Psyquiatric Drugs Expalined” and Dr Peter Breggin’s “Brain Disabling Treatments in Psyquiatry”. The key to success to overcome the agonising drug dependence (and their serious reactions) is to go slowly and to surround yourself with support.
Current Psyq. practice will only change when the tide of cases reaching the courts is overwhelming enough, after 12 years dealing with the profession I know it will not readily change from within.