Rose, Thorn, Seed

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I hate taking my meds. I hate the process. I hate swallowing pills. I hate overcoming my gag reflex. I just hate everything about it. It’s the major reason why I’m noncompliant at times. Taking meds sucks.

However, I like the effects of the meds. I’m stable. I do well. They work. I just loathe taking them. And honestly, it’s a huge barrier to me being consistent in taking them.

I’m currently in intensive outpatient (IOP) therapy and we identify something called a “rose, thorn, and seed.” A rose is something positive that we can reflect on. A thorn is an area where we need support. And a seed is an intention that we set for ourselves.

While my rose and thorn can vary depending on the events of my days, my seed during my last session was to consistently take my medicine and be compliant. I need to continually set that intention for myself. How can I keep it up when it’s a task—a chore—I abhor?

Again, the effects of the meds are good. They help me function. Without them, I am an absolute mess. I suppose I just need to focus on how well I do as a result of taking them to overcome the laziness and repulsiveness I feel when it comes time for me to actually take them.

Katy Perry has revealed that she is experiencing waves of depression during the pandemic. While Stephen Fry, who has been outspoken about his struggle with bipolar disorder, admitted that he’s tried to commit suicide at least 3 times.

“There’s no future. There’s no sense of anything ahead of you. And you have to hope something will stop you. In my case it was just failed attempts and waking up in a hospital.”

Fry cited music, namely Beethoven, as a coping mechanism.

As the COVID-19 pandemic rages on, the LAist reports that the mental health of frontline workers, such as health care workers and first responders, may be in jeopardy. The article cites Dr. Joshua Morganstein who alludes to possible “psychological disorders, like depression and anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder.”


KARE-TV 11 in Minneapolis-St. Paul reported that police brutality of unarmed Black Americans affects the mental health of Black Americans as a whole. Research published 2 years ago shows trauma is an illness that can negatively impact mental health. In this case, police killings negatively affected the mental state of Black adults. Alexander Tsai, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital and professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, said that the trauma can manifest as “depression, anxiety or irritability” in adults.


WJLA-TV/ABC7 interviewed Dr. Alban Gaultier, an associate professor of neuroscience at the University of Virginia, about the potential for an antidepressant drug, fluvoxamine, to be used in the fight against COVID-19. The drug shows promise by “preventing[ing] dangerous overreactions by the immune system” induced by COVID-19. A clinical trial is currently underway at the Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, Missouri. A possible answer could emerge as soon as 2 months from now.