If you met me in person, you’d never know that I struggled with social anxiety or what I’ve deemed social awkwardness.
I’m a pretty quiet and shy person at first but the more you get to know me, the more you get to love me! (Just kidding about the latter.) In all seriousness, the more I become comfortable in certain social situations or a group of people, I can be loud, outgoing, silly (zany if you’d like!), bubbly, and full of energy.
After close to a year of being at my current place of employment, I have yet to be fully comfortable. My personality comes out in short bursts but then I get quiet, withdraw, and “shut down,” keeping to myself and avoiding interaction with my coworkers if I can help it.
I assume—I don’t know for sure—that they have judged me negatively and for whatever reason don’t like me. In a previous post, I tossed around a couple of social situations where I felt like this before. I invent all sorts of reasons in my head:
- I’m a freak
- I’m a weirdo
- I don’t interact much with them
- I don’t have an immediate warm, outgoing personality
- I don’t dress very fashionably
- I have nervous habits that they probably don’t like
- I am all-around irritating, grating, and annoying in some manner that I don’t know of
Most people struggle with this kind of thing without any real basis. My fear used to be completely unfounded and after the incident at my previous job, I am plagued by thoughts of social anxiety and awkwardness tenfold. I don’t know what I did at my last job to rub my coworkers the wrong way but I wish I knew so I could try to work on it and cut it out. Vague references of “immature” and “annoying” don’t help me much.
So here I throw out the detailed descriptions of social anxiety and social awkwardness. The first one was developed by the NIMH; the second is my own invention built off of the social anxiety description.
Continue reading “Social Anxiety and Social Awkwardness”
Compilation of Statistics Regarding Suicide
Scott Anderson in his NYT article weaves the grim statistics of suicide in and out of his story. Here’s the morbid list:
- The nation’s suicide rate (11 victims per 100,000 inhabitants) is almost precisely what it was in 1965.
- In 2005, approximately 32,000 Americans committed suicide, or nearly twice the number of those killed by homicide.
- The National Institute of Mental Health says that 90 percent of all suicide “completers” display some form of diagnosable mental disorder.
- Both elderly men living in Western states and white male adolescents from divorced families are at elevated risk.
Premeditation vs. Passion
- [T]he person who best fits the classic definition of “being suicidal” might actually be safer than one acting in the heat of the moment — at least 40 times safer in the case of someone opting for an overdose of pills over shooting himself.
- In a 2001 University of Houston study of 153 survivors of nearly lethal attempts between the ages of 13 and 34, only 13 percent reported having contemplated their act for eight hours or longer. To the contrary, 70 percent set the interval between deciding to kill themselves and acting at less than an hour, including an astonishing 24 percent who pegged the interval at less than five minutes.
- “Sticking one’s head in the oven” became so common in Britain that by the late 1950s it accounted for some 2,500 suicides a year, almost half the nation’s total. By the early 1970s, the amount of carbon monoxide
running through domestic gas lines had been reduced to nearly zero. During those same years, Britain’s national suicide rate dropped by nearly a third, and it has remained close to that reduced level ever since.
Continue reading “The Act and Follow-through of Suicide: Part IV”
Premeditation vs. Passion
Author Scott Anderson in his NYT magazine article, "The Urge to End It All," notes:
Just as with homicide, researchers have long recognized a premeditation-versus-passion dichotomy in suicide.
Continue reading “The Act and Follow-through of Suicide: Part III”