The Holidays

How were your holidays?

Mine were tumultuous.

Let me explain: I had a week of mania and depression on and off. I’m more accustomed to calling it a “mixed state.” I’d be sad and suicidal one minute and then happy and elated the next. (Correlation with PMS currently unidentified. I’ll tell you my verdict in about three months.)

Example: I went to the mall with my husband and mother on New Year’s Day. I went to New York & Co., one of my favorite clothing stores, and grabbed a bunch of different clothes off the racks, knowing I didn’t have enough money to pay for anything that even fit. I didn’t have enough money for a $20 shirt. My husband said I was in every corner of the stores – which I don’t normally do – looking at nearly every single item (again, I don’t do this). I tried on all the clothes I’d picked up, promising my husband that I wouldn’t get them all and still walked to the register with about $75 worth of clothing. No, not a lot but neither he nor I had the money for them. I whipped out my debit card in an effort to deceive my husband and look like I could afford it. When the $75 total popped up, however, I quickly switched to my debt-laded Discover credit card. Alas, my mother came to the rescue and paid for the items as a Christmas gift. My husband had previously been asking me what I’d pay with and I kept insisting “a card” while not specifying which kind.

I was pretty happy, cheerful, joyful – I’d go so far as to say euphoric (I rarely use that term in relation to myself). I raced around the store, excessively happy, and chatted up a storm. My husband warned my mother that an imminent crash lurked around the bend.

He just didn’t know how soon.

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