Thoughts on Bipolar Overawareness Week: Part I

I finally sat down and read all those posts that I linked to about Bipolar Overawareness Week. I mentioned in my previous post that I feel like I had a contrarian view. Well, I do. Somewhat. Although it’s probably not as contrarian as I’d think.

Let’s take my experience, for example.

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Hypomanic Watch

Brainstorm Your Way Out of a Bad Mood

Feeling down? Think fast – literally. A recent study from Princeton and Harvard found that when people were made to brainstorm rapidly, they felt happier, more energized, and more creative. "It’s like taking your mind for a run," saus Emily Pronin, Ph.D., an assistant professor of psychology at Princeton. Test it yourself: Quickly come up with 20 ways to improve your health, or speed-read the newspaper and watch your mood soar. – Shape, February 2007

Sounds like a plan for hypomanics.

Bipolar disorder

“Avalanche is sullen and too thin / She starves herself to rid herself of sin / And the kick is so divine when she sees bones beneath her skin / And she says /Hey baby can you bleed like me? / C’mon baby can you bleed like me” ~ Garbage, “Bleed Like Me”

Medication bottlesI went to the psychiatrist Wednesday and received the oddest diagnosis of my life: he told me that I’ve got bipolar disorder and that I’m on the wrong medication.

For most of my life, I’ve been convinced that I’ve had major depressive disorder and nothing else. When I was a teenager, I thought I might have been bipolar (age 15-19) but my manic side gradually faded with puberty and I became much more of a depressive.

This is the first doctor or psychiatrist in the history of my life to ever tell me that I’m bipolar. At first, I thought he got his diagnosis wrong. “I can’t be bipolar, I’m not really manic. I don’t spend a lot of cash – well, not recently anyway – I don’t experience euphoric states quite often and I don’t have feelings of grandiosity. And I don’t engage in risky behaviors, you know. I don’t drink or do drugs. I’m a good girl. I can’t be bipolar.”

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