Quote of the Week

"As the fly bangs against the window attempting freedom while the door
stands open, so we bang against death ignoring heaven." — Doug Horton

Rage, rage against the dying of the light

A comment from Susan from If You're Going Through Hell Keep Going, brought to mind a poem from Dylan Thomas called Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night. It always somehow encourages me during times when I'm obsessed with my own death.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

December

I have since learned that December is also a hard month for me. December has certain markers, so to speak, that jump out at me throughout the month.

December 9 — The day my father died
December 14 — The day I found out
December 17 — The funeral
December 18 — The burial

Makes for quite a depressing Christmas. Even though he passed away only 7 years ago, it still hangs a dark cloud over my head. It takes me so long to get into the “Christmas spirit.” I now settle into the Christmas mood a week before the holiday, which is somewhat frustrating because it took me almost a month to finally enjoy hearing Nat King Cole’s smooth voice crooning through the ceiling speakers at Barnes and Noble.

I think celebrating Advent next year might help, however, I never know much about the season anymore since I no longer attend Catholic church and the Presbyterian church I attend doesn’t seem to acknowledge it. I need to remember that Christ is “the reason for the season” (yes, I know it’s trite) but the materialism surrounding Christmas really does a good job of distracting me from focusing on that. Materialism is tangible; Christ is not. But materials are temporal; Christ is eternal. Something to keep in mind.

I’ve been incredibly busy lately and have gotten pretty sidetracked from blogging. I’m traveling a good bit this (and the coming) year, trying to get a personal website up and running, running errands and accomplishing chores, trying to fit in exercise, spend time with friends and family, attend (usually) church-related activities, and make time for myself at night. My life in the past 2 years has moved faster than I could even imagine or fathom. The introduction of children could only make it crazier.

How’s my mental health in spite of all this? Well, I was doing pretty well most of the year with the exception of my “normal” dive in August. Lately, I’ve been dealing with some suicidal thoughts again. Mostly passing and no serious urges but the idea of trying has been tempting. I mentioned recently that I’ve felt a “need to prove” that I am serious about committing suicide. It’s a serious pride issue. Why should I care whether people think I’m suicidal for attention or not? That doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t be more concerned about what people think of me. Rather, I should be more focused on living my life to please God and for His glory.

I’m currently reading a book by J.I. Packer titled “God’s Plans for You.” (You can read a preview of this book through Google Books.) Lately, I’ve been struggling with what I should do with my life. I’m experiencing what has been deemed a “quarter-life crisis.” It’s like a mid-life crisis but with different challenges. Usually those challenges are related to career and vocational decisions. The mid- to late-twenties is the time when college grads are hit with the reality that full-time work isn’t as idealistic as they hoped and they are faced with the grim realization that some—or many—of their dreams may never come true.

This is becoming the case with me.

I obtained a degree in print journalism and a minor in English, hoping that I could enjoy working as a reporter or copy editor in the newspaper or magazine industry. It started out that way but then a move to Pennsylvania and a switch to daytime hours and a lack of clips set me back and now I am a freelance proofreader. Granted, I’m fortunate to even be a freelancer at 26 but proofreading at an ad agency was NOT what I had in mind when I took on my student loan debt.

While I enjoy the people I work with and have become more comfortable with the materials that come across my desk, I again have fallen into the perfectionism trap. I had a week where I caught a string of my own mistakes that I’d missed (other people—non-proofreaders—had caught them) and it was extremely discouraging. This has led me to wonder whether I’m even in the appropriate field. Now, I have a desire to pick up writing again (as opposed to sole editing) and am frustrated at my lack of internal motivation. I’m even beginning to wonder whether I should go back to a full-time job because it’s tough not knowing when a check will drop in my lap during any given day of a month and the fact that I am a terrible boss and employee when it comes to meeting my own deadlines. I’m even afraid of getting audited come tax time.

All in all, I’m currently facing a slew of decisions. Where to take my career and the prospect of motherhood, which may be hindered by my Lamictal (lamotrigine) treatment. I don’t want to be taking Lamictal during a pregnancy unless absolutely necessary and right now, I don’t feel that it’s absolutely necessary. I would like to take the risk and come off of it to see what happens but so far, it sounds like Lamictal withdrawal can be hellish. Lamictal during pregnancy raises the risk of a baby being born with a cleft palate. The likelihood of that happening to me is low and even if it does happen, it’s fixable but why take the chance? I’m also the super-psycho freak that will halt topical steroid medication of my eczema and zealously check all toys “Made in China” for lead.

Gianna at Beyond Meds and CLPsych over at Clinical Psychology and Psychiatry have written pieces on how Lamictal’s efficacy has been shown to be no better than placebo. This is something I intend on writing about soon considering that I’m one of the patients who could probably (currently, anyway) sing the wonders of the drug.

So there’s the update. That’s what’s going on in my life. I hope that you are all well. I likely won’t post again before 2009 so I’d like to wish you all a Happy New Year!

Mood rating: 5

Pick a number: 20 or 9,000,000

20 people annually or 9,000,000 people annually.

Golden Gate BridgeThose are the numbers that the Golden Gate Bridge (GGB) Board of Directors will need to choose between in October.

GGB officials are considering a proposal to erect suicide barriers on the bridge. Public forums were held on Tuesday and Wednesday to gauge public reaction to the five options designed to deter suicides. The cost of erecting one of the barriers is estimated between $40–50 million.

Bridge officials have been culling comments about the barriers at the forums and through the site Golden Gate Bridge Suicide Deterrent Barrier. As of Wednesday, July 23, the San Francisco Chronicle reports:

[O]f the more than 900 tallied so far, an overwhelming 75 percent of the respondents said they prefer that no barrier be built at all. But a small, passionate group of proponents – many of them family
members of people who jumped to their deaths from the bridge – insist a barrier is needed. Any barrier.

“Overwhelming 75 percent” prefer no barrier? That’s not good.

Opponents of the barriers say it will ruin the aesthetic view of the bridge for the yearly estimated 9 million visitors.

I stumbled upon a blog, Bookworm Room, yesterday that brought the issue to my attention. This blogger likely represents the sentiment of the “overwhelming 75 percent.”

Read the rest of this entry »

The Act and Follow-through of Suicide: Part IV

Compilation of Statistics Regarding Suicide

Scott Anderson in his NYT article weaves the grim statistics of suicide in and out of his story. Here’s the morbid list:

General

  • mental illnessThe nation’s suicide rate (11 victims per 100,000 inhabitants) is almost precisely what it was in 1965.
  • In 2005, approximately 32,000 Americans committed suicide, or nearly twice the number of those killed by homicide.
  • The National Institute of Mental Health says that 90 percent of all suicide “completers” display some form of diagnosable mental disorder.

Demographics

  • Both elderly men living in Western states and white male adolescents from divorced families are at elevated risk.

Premeditation vs. Passion

  • [T]he person who best fits the classic definition of “being suicidal” might actually be safer than one acting in the heat of the moment — at least 40 times safer in the case of someone opting for an overdose of pills over shooting himself.
  • In a 2001 University of Houston study of 153 survivors of nearly lethal attempts between the ages of 13 and 34, only 13 percent reported having contemplated their act for eight hours or longer. To the contrary, 70 percent set the interval between deciding to kill themselves and acting at less than an hour, including an astonishing 24 percent who pegged the interval at less than five minutes.
  • “Sticking one’s head in the oven” became so common in Britain that by the late 1950s it accounted for some 2,500 suicides a year, almost half the nation’s total. By the early 1970s, the amount of carbon monoxide
    running through domestic gas lines had been reduced to nearly zero. During those same years, Britain’s national suicide rate dropped by nearly a third, and it has remained close to that reduced level ever since.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Act and Follow-through of Suicide: Part III

Premeditation vs. Passion

Author Scott Anderson in his NYT magazine article, "The Urge to End It All," notes:

Just as with homicide, researchers have long recognized a premeditation-versus-passion dichotomy in suicide.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Act and Follow-through of Suicide: Part II

The British Coal-Gas Story

According to Scott Anderson’s NYT article, the little-known British coal-gas story — even among mental health professionals — is a good example of how suicides can be prevented if one takes away the means:

Coal-gas ovenFor generations, the people of Britain heated their homes and fueled their stoves with coal gas. While plentiful and cheap, coal-derived gas could also be deadly; in its unburned form, it released very high levels of carbon monoxide, and an open valve or a leak in a closed space could induce asphyxiation in a matter of minutes. This extreme toxicity also made it a preferred method of suicide. “Sticking one’s head in the oven” became so common in Britain that by the late 1950s it accounted for some 2,500 suicides a year, almost half the nation’s total.

Those numbers began dropping over the next decade as the British government embarked on a program to phase out coal gas in favor of the much cleaner natural gas. By the early 1970s, the amount of carbon monoxide running through domestic gas lines had been reduced to nearly zero. During those same years, Britain’s national suicide rate dropped by nearly a third, and it has remained close to that reduced level ever since.

Experts seems to insist that committing suicide is proof of an underlying mental illness. Suicide that stems from impulsivity, among these experts, is also considered part of a mental illness. Anderson subtly argues against this, and I find myself agreeing with him:

How can this be? After all, if the impulse to suicide is primarily rooted in mental illness and that illness goes untreated, how does merely closing off one means of self-destruction have any lasting effect? At least a partial answer is that many of those Britons who asphyxiated themselves did so impulsively. In a moment of deep despair or rage or sadness, they turned to what was easy and quick and deadly — “the execution chamber in everyone’s kitchen,” as one psychologist described it — and that instrument allowed little time for second thoughts. Remove it, and the process slowed down; it allowed time for the dark passion to pass.

Would this mean that if people had less access to suicidal means that promoted “ease, speed, and certainty of death” (ESCOD), a number of suicides could be averted? It appears so. Anderson continues to make a case using the Ellington Bridge in Northwest Washington as an example:

Read the rest of this entry »

Celebrity Sensitivity: 135 Famous Celebrities and Their Mental Health

The Pop-Crunch Show has a list of 135 Famous People Who Struggled with Depression. I sit on the fence and think that it should probably be retitled "135 Famous People Who Struggled with Mental Health Issues."

But then again, we could throw nearly every celebrity in there, huh? I’m bummed that Tom Cruise isn’t on the list.

The Act and Follow-through of Suicide: Part I

“What was immediately apparent was that none of them had truly wanted to die. They had wanted their inner pain to stop; they wanted some measure of relief; and this was the only answer they could find. They were in spiritual agony, and they sought a physical solution.”Dr. David Rosen, psychiatrist and Jungian psychoanalyst

A recent article in New York Times magazine suggests that those who exhibit suicidal behavior or have had unsuccessful attempts are least likely to die by way of suicide.

The author, Scott Anderson, delves into the psyche of what drives a person to commit suicide. And he attempts to answer the "what" question by evaluating the "how."

Read the rest of this entry »

The Purple Elephant in the Room

“Every minute, a suicide is attempted.” — everyminute.org

“With over 30,000 people dying by suicide each year in the United States, averaging 82 per day, there are almost twice as many suicides as homicides each year.” — stopasuicide.org

gun82 per day. Despite the fond memories the “Thompson” family will always have of Bob’s grandfather — whom we’ll call Grandpa — he is now logged as a suicide statistic:

  • Suicide per minute
  • Suicide per hour
  • Suicide per day
  • Suicide per year
  • Suicide in the town
  • Suicide in the state
  • Suicide in the nation
  • Suicide in the world
  • Suicide by age (elderly)
  • Suicide by gender
  • Suicide by firearm

The list likely goes on.

Suicide is the purple elephant in the room that no one likes to talk about. It’s never a pleasant subject, especially when it’s by someone you know. The pain of losing someone by suicide seems to surpass the pain of all other kinds of death. There’s something about suicide in which we feel that the deceased had control.

  • “It didn’t have to be that way.”
  • “If he’d just gotten help.”

Read the rest of this entry »

All Things Must Pass

It’s not always going to be this grey
All things must pass
All things must pass away
— All Things Must Pass, The Beatles —

I haven’t had a desire to do much of anything lately but somehow I got the energy (and fortune) to figure out how to get my original blog design back. I prefer the format since it’s wider even if the beige gets kind of drab. I also reorganized the blog categories. I’ve become a bit of an organizational freak in the past couple of years. I’m a child of the Real Simple era, I suppose.

I have a whole post just kind of brewing in my mind and it has been for the past two weeks. I’m just taking a bit of a break and trying to figure out which direction I want to take this blog now. I’ve talked about suicide, thought about suicide, and attempted suicide but never remotely encountered anyone who’s actually done it. Now it’s hit my family, and I’m still figuring out what it means to me, my husband, and his family. We have a counseling session tomorrow night so I’m sure we’ll talk more about it then.

In the meantime, work at the ad agency has either been completed (pushed out the door) or is currently in the planning stages, which means I don’t need to go in tomorrow but am tentatively scheduled for Thursday. I have a lot of errands to run tomorrow and have been avoiding checking my e-mail like the plague. I’ll suck up the courage to look at it sometime soon.

 

Also, I gave my husband Bob Thompson guest author privileges. He’s currently deciding on whether to make a blog post on his grandfather’s suicide and its repercussions in the future. He might or might not. My husband’s not particularly fond of writing but it’s just a heads-up.

In the meantime, be well.

P.S. I’ve been on a Beatles trip lately so I’m probably going to be quoting apt Beatles lyrics for a lot of my future posts.

Distorted Thinking

A Google Alert for a post from My Journey Through Bipolar came to my inbox. I read it and feel that it expresses many of the thoughts that I’ve had and still have today. Here are the snippets that really spoke to me:

My thinking has been so terribly distorted lately.  I can hear it but
it is like I am watching it on TV and I can’t make the actors say
different lines.  “You just don’t understand me so I am not going to
talk to you anymore.”  “I am worthless and just taking up too much
space.  I would rather die then to put you all through this agony
anymore.”  “I have no friends.  No one loves me.  I am unlovable.  I
hate myself.  I HATE ME!!!”


And it all makes so much sense to me.  I really believe it.  I really
do feel like there is no reason to go on.  That I should just die.
That I am a waste of space.


And like the viewer watching TV I can see how ridiculous this story
is.  Of course she is loved.  Look at the supporting cast.  She doesn’t
actually want to die.  Look at her children worshiping her at her feet,
begging her to come play with them and give them kisses.  Who wouldn’t
want to stick around to foster that?  And a waste of space?  She
created this space.  She cooks and cleans in this space.  She bore her
children in this space.  She makes love to her incredible husband in
this space.  She isn’t a waste of space.  The space would be empty
without her.


And does she really hate herself?  I believe she hates the one that she
thinks she is.  That distorted her.  But if she saw herself as a
separate person she would love her.  She would see that other self and
think, what a great person.  She has it all.  The husband, house, kids,
cats, beauty, security, love all around.  A deep faith, a rich
community, arts and a strong soul of a warrior.  She would want to be
just like that other person.


I want to be just like I am.  I just want to be happy while I am being me.

Read the entire post here.

Loose Screws Mental Health News Rises From the Ashes

It’s good to be back.


A study for the U of Vermont concludes that anorexics have the highest rates of suicide. Researchers previously thought that their deaths resulted from their emaciated states. The actual article can be read at Time.com.

Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder. But psychologists previously believed that those high rates of death were due to patients’ already deteriorated physical state. The hypothesis was that these are people already on the verge of death — they were so malnourished and underweight that even the slightest suicide attempt could easily lead to death.

Anorexia is usually seen as an illness rather than a psychiatric disorder. It’s good to see Time shedding some light on the link between anorexia and suicide. Making this kind of information widespread will definitely save  some lives that otherwise would have been lost.


On the topic of suicides, an 18-year-old high school student in Mobile, Alabama walked into a high school gym and shot himself in front of classmates on Thursday. There’s not much information surrounding this story but it just saddened me to read that a young man, perhaps with a good life ahead of him, took his own life away. While he didn’t shoot his classmates – he fired one shot up at the ceiling before shooting himself, I continue to remain dismayed at the trend of school shootings. No one is ever happy about suicides or homicides of any age but I think there’s something about school shootings that really speaks to adults. We like to think of kids – wow, I’m no longer a kid in comparison to them – as innocent and with a bright future ahead of them. There’s something about a school shooting that strikes a chord within all of us. The idea of school is equated with the notion of learning, growth, and development. It implies that students (for the most part) are not quite adults yet. JaJuan Holmes may have been a legal adult, but it seems that his unresolved issues were still viewed through a minor’s eyes.


laughterSeoul National University Hospital in South Korea is providing sessions on laughing your depression away. Many of the patients – if not all – suffer with depression stemming from their bout with cancer. For Americans and maybe even the British, the concept of laughing depression away seems ridiculous. However in South Korea’s culture, laughter outside of the home is deemed inappropriate, mainly for women.

“It was awkward at first. Yes, smiling is a good thing, but you know, I’m a little conservative. I sometimes still think laughing out loud is a bit low class,” [Jung-Oak Lee] said.

I’ve taken laughter for granted. I don’t know what I’d do if I was looked down upon for laughing out loud in public. That’s the last thing I want to worry about in a social atmosphere.

(Image courtesy Olson Center For Wellness)

The Zoloft-rage/violence connection

[This post is quite lengthy so I suggest you grab a cup of coffee or tea and sit down and read it. The following is not for the faint of heart (or those with a lack of time).]

It’s been amazing to me that I’ve received numerous comments on Zoloft inducing rage. I’m humbled by having a Pittman supporter visit my site and post some comments from the ChristopherPittman.org forums. Read the following:

In my senior year in high school I was diagnosed as being severely depressed and put on medication. The first medication that I was on I took for 5 months and it made me really aggressive. My friends and family noticed the change and I told my doctor about it and she changed my meds. After that I was fine. I am normally a very passive person and will let just about anything fly. But the medication made me really aggravated and aggressive toward my friends and family and it seemed that I wasn’t overcoming my depression. I just got done watching the 48 hours investigation on the Discovery Times Channel and felt a connection with Chris. I felt that I had to write this to let you know that Chris is not the only one out there that had these side effects. I think there should be a study done to see how many people that take antidepressants have increased aggression. The problem is that the pharmaceutical industry has deep pockets and many lobbyists. I hope this helps in some way.

And another:

I remember the case when it happened.

At the time I thought, “Zoloft right”.

Let me tell you my physician put me on Zoloft and it took about three weeks for my to become psychotic and I’m a 50 year old woman.

I have three children and I don’t make a lot of money but please let me know if I can do anything for the Pittman boy.

The jury should have been placed on Zoloft before they made they decision. Unless you’ve experience it you simply cannot believe its’ effect.

Brynn and Phil HartmanI did a bit of quick reading/research into Zoloft triggering violence in people who otherwise would have never been violent and it seems that are a few stories out there to support the assertion. I found a few comments on depressionblog.com that mentioned a link between Zoloft and rage fits. A Salon.com article published a story antidepressants inducing rage in 1999. Apparently, Brynn Hartman, the wife of famous comedian Phil Hartman, killed herself and her husband while taking Zoloft. While close friends attribute the sudden behavior on the antidepressant, others attribute it to a combination of the medication with cocaine and alcohol in her system. (Zoloft does have a warning against alcohol use in conjunction with the drug.)

One interesting thing I learned from the article is that this kind of behavior is often labeled under the name akathisia on patient safety guides. Most – if not all – of the major antidepressants list akathisia as a side effect. Here’s the initial description of this condition from Wikipedia:

Akathisia, or acathisia, is an unpleasant subjective sensation of “inner” restlessness that manifests itself with an inability to sit still or remain motionless… Its most common cause is as a side effect of medications, mainly neuroleptic antipsychotics especially the phenothiazines (such as perphenazine and chlorpromazine), thioxanthenes (such as flupenthixol and zuclopenthixol) and butyrophenones (such as haloperidol (Haldol)), and rarely, antidepressants.

Akathisia may range in intensity from a mild sense of disquiet or anxiety (which may be easily overlooked) to a total inability to sit still, accompanied by overwhelming anxiety, malaise, and severe dysphoria (manifesting as an almost indescribable sense of terror and doom).

No real mention of extreme anger or irritability mentioned there. But if you read on…

The 2006 U.K. study by Healy, Herxheimer, and Menkes observed that akathisia is often miscoded in antidepressant clinical trials as “agitation, emotional lability, and hyperkinesis (overactivity)”. The study further points out that misdiagnosis of akathisia as simple motor restlessness occurs, but that this is more properly classed as dyskinesia. Healy, et. al., further show links between antidepressant-induced akathisia and violence, including suicide, as akathisia can “exacerbate psychopathology.” The study goes on to state that there is extensive clinical evidence correlating akathisia with SSRI use, showing that approximately ten times as many patients on SSRIs as those on placebos showed symptoms severe enough to drop out of a trial (5.0% compared to 0.5%).

Read the rest of this entry »

Suicide: Understanding and Intervening – Part IV, Helping A Suicidal Person

Helping a suicidal person is a touchy subject.  Black’s booklet is addressed to people who want to help a person who is suicidal.  Black’s provides some tips to help a suicidal person:

  1. “Acknowledge the reality of [the person’s] pain.”
  2. “Help him see the connection between his pain and his felt need.” Get them to say, “Life without ___ [fill in the blank]___ will be unbearable because ___[fill in the blank]___.
  3. “Challenge constricted options and irrational thoughts.”
  4. “Explore [the person’s] perceptions of hopelessness.” How hopeless is the person feeling? Can the situation be rectified or is it hopeless?
  5. “Help the person to separate pain and need.”

Assessing risk
Black’s following guideline is a good way to assess whether a person is considering suicide:

1. Presenting problem – Assessment begins by evaluating the problem that triggered the downward spiral.  This is difficult to do if the person can’t identify any triggers.

2. Background information – Analyze the person’s life and personality to gain a better understanding of how and why he is driven to a point where he considers taking his own life.  A good warning sign: If someone says, "I can’t deal" repeatedly. "I can’t deal" really means, "I don’t have the appropriate coping skills to handle my situation."

3. Substance abuse – While a person who abuses drugs or alcohol may not be suicidal, the likelihood that a depressed person who abuses drugs or alcohol is.

4. Resources – Encourage the (potentially) suicidal individual to seek out a support network: family, friends, church, therapists, or social groups.  If a person feels needed, he is more likely to realize that his death will have a significant impact.  Perhaps he’ll think twice before making an attempt.

5. Suicidal thinking and intent

A.     "Evaluate the person’s felt experience." Use a mood scale from 1-10 to gauge how good or bad a person is feeling. (Feel free to use mine on the right.)
B.     "Determine how often the person has suicidal thoughts and how intense or compelling they are."  Frequent "passing" thoughts are no longer passing thoughts.
C.     Dry run. A person contemplating suicide might have “tried out” the way he plans on killing himself.

“Has she ever taken a few pills to see what it feels like, tied things around her neck, driven at high speed, or practiced with an unloaded gun? Dry runs help the person to resolve any ambivalence she might feel about suicide.”

If a person admits to attempting a “dry run,” the person likely is in extreme danger of following through.

6. Noble End – A person who is at the point of beautifying suicide as a glorious end to his life is completely disillusioned and should be seen as a high risk.  Watch out for talk of "No one needs me anymore" or "Everyone would be better off without me."

An addendum: A person who says "I hate myself" may be a suicidal risk, but not always.  An admission of self-hatred provides evidence that he may want to eliminate the hatred in some way.

Suicide: Understanding and Intervening – Part III

A “situational crisis” may lead a person to have “intense psychological pain.” As a result of this psychological pain, a person can begin to experience “distorted thinking” and/or may “abuse medication.”

1. Situational crises

These include financial problems, illness, bereavement, relational conflict, or public humiliation. Black notes that situational crises tend to act as a “catalyst to suicide,” driving the person to believe he or she has no other solutions to solve his or her problem(s).

2. Severe psychological pain
Black gets to the heart of suicide attempts:

“The goal of suicide is often simply to end that pain: ‘I just want the pain to go away.’ … ‘I just want to die’ most often means, ‘I want to stop feeling bad.’”

This, above all things, is the biggest reason behind a suicide attempt. If people felt like they had other options to their problems apart from suicide, most would take the alternate routes. In a suicidal moment – whether planned or not – the suicidal person is thinking about ending the “pain.” Death itself is not the goal; it’s an end to emotional pain. Death seems to serve as a means to that end.

3. Distorted Thoughts
Distorted thinking is a characteristic of suicides. Black writes:

“Problems may seems catastrophic when they are not. Predictions about the future can become arbitrary and unrealistic.

While problems get unbearable and circumstances may seems bleak, instead of looking for assistance, those who are suicidal convince themselves that only death or loss of consciousness can release them from emotional pain.

4. Abuse of medication
A person who attempts to overdose on medication seeks one of two things: death or loss of consciousness. Abuse of medication that requires hospitalization provides a legitimate reason to “escape” the problems of life. Abusing medication is a person’s way of saying that he needs, as Black puts it, “an emotional vacation.” The person feels overwhelmed by the stressors of life and temporarily need to block out all distractions. At this point, it is safe to say a person is mentally ill. The need for escape from problems is the mind’s way of saying that it needs time to recover and become mentally healthy again. Abusing medication is the desperate way of doing this.

Saturday Stats

"Suicide took the lives of 30,622 people in 2001." – National Center for Injury Prevention and Control

Saturday Stats

"Firearms were used in 73% of suicides committed by adults over the age of 65 in 2001." – National Center for Injury Prevention and Control

Saturday Stats

"Suicide rates in the United States are lowest in the winter and highest in the spring." – National Center for Injury Prevention and Control

Saturday Stats

"Suicide rates are generally higher than the national average in the western states and lower in the eastern and midwestern states." – National Center for Injury Prevention and Control

More on Zyprexa

More on Zyprexa, folks. It just isn't going to go away.

NYT reporter Alex Berenson, continuing his stellar coverage of Zyprexa's risks and exposing Eli Lilly's deceitfulness, has uncovered a recent case of a man who died using Zyprexa. John Eric Kauffman has a complicated medical, which might have led to his death. However, he was a mentally ill patient on Zyprexa and as a result of his death, Eli Lilly must report his death to "federal regulators," which it is required to do under law. However, despite his heavy smoking, he gained 80 lbs. on Zyprexa – which possibly led him to develop heart disease and become sedentary after being active most of his life. His mother says that Zyprexa did help him stave off the psychosis of his bipolar disorder, but his mother wonders if the risk was worth the early death of her son. Kauffman at 41 years old weighed 259 lbs. at the time of his death. He was 5' 10".

Which leads to the question of whether mentally ill patients should choose between taking Zyprexa – which CAN help mentally ill people – and dealing with its significant side effects or risk not taking Zyprexa when other medications won't work. In light of all this, should a doctor even continue to prescribe Zyprexa after seeing its awful side effects but left with no other choice (given that a patient is treatment-resistant to most medications)?

Eli Lilly's response to this continues to be appalling:

"Zyprexa is a lifesaving drug and it has helped millions of people worldwide with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder regain control of their lives."

It may be true that it helps people "regain control of their lives," but as for being a lifesaving drug – that's unlikely. Zyprexa has been shown to induce diabetes, obesity, hyperglycemia, and now, heart disease and death. I commend Australian regulators for looking into the details of Lilly downplaying the risk of Zyprexa and hope that they will make the information public – a different course than what the U.S. federal government seems to be taking. Lilly's 2006 settlement with patients who developed diabetes and other health problems is pure evidence that despite their constant denials, Lilly's hiding something in an effort to make profits.

My prediction: The FDA will eventually slap a black-box warning on Zyprexa, warning patients that it makes them more prone to diabetes and its other ill health effects.

Metro Letter about Suicide Myth

The following letter discusses the
student-suicide shooting that occurred in Montgomery County last week.
I previously explained that Shane Halligan pointed to despair over low
grades and prompt punishment from his parents that put the final nail
in the coffin, which led to his public suicide. I had moments when I
was so upset over my grades that I wanted to kill myself, but Mr. Romer
is right – there is a larger issue at hand that would trigger an
adolescent to suicide. The following is a letter to the editor from
Metro’s Tuesday, December 19, 2006 edition (p. 16):

Correct the myth about suicides

PHILADELPHIA. Regarding “Suicide rocks
school” (Dec. 13): A young person’s violent suicide death in a public
setting is surely a big story – but a dangerous one. Your coverage of
the death is misleading at best and perpetuates a myth about suicide
that has little basis in fact.

We know that such stories prominently
displayed can lead others who lead others who have thought (sic) of
suicide to do the same. Considerable research has found that such
tragic events are preceded by periods of intense mental distress, most
often diagnosable as major depression. This is far more serious than
being “despondent over his grades,” as one official – a lawyer, not a
mental health professional – speculated.

Correcting the myth that some relatively
trivial immediate event caused the death may help others in similar
shoes to get the assistance they need rather than to act on the same
impulse. — Daniel Romer

Mr. Romer is the director of the Adolescent Risk Communication Institute at the University of Pennsylvania

Saturday Stats

"Comprising only 13 percent of the U.S. population, individuals age 65 and older accounted for 18 percent of all suicide deaths in 2000. Among the highest rates (when categorized by gender and race) were white men age 85 and older: 59 deaths per 100,000 persons in 2000, more than five times the national U.S. rate of 10.6 per 100,000." – National Institute of Mental Health

Identification

I identify with Dawdy’s article on a variety of grounds and many of his words have me thinking.

“Mostly, the suicidal show no clues that they are on dangerous ground.”

This is true for me only with people I don’t know. When people at work, friends, or family see me, they think that all is right in my world. I’m the type of person who keeps a pleasant expression fixed on her face and in general, has a bubbly, cheery attitude. (Co-workers, acquaintances, and casual friends would never know how negative and pessimistic I am.) If people found out that I struggled with depression to the extent of attempting suicide on 10 different occasions, they’d all be shocked because it doesn’t seem to jive with my “personality.”

People who really know me — those closest to me — know that when I’m suicidal, it’s extremely hard for me to not show. I withdraw from social contact, refuse to make eye contact, become extremely quiet or reply with a succession of short, one-word answers to questions, or corner myself in a seat or in bed with my head hanging down, eyes spacing off into somewhere. Those who know me should and can know when I’m suicidal. It becomes so obvious that I don’t need to say anything. I usually don’t tell anyone, but my body language speaks volumes.

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Malachi the Martyr – Shifting the focus to Iraq

Malachi RitscherA few weeks ago, I wrote about Malachi Ritscher who immolated himself on the side of expressway in Chicago. I made this assessment:

“Only time will tell whether the blogosphere takes his self-immolating act and runs with it on the heels of ‘martyrdom.'”

I wasn’t off-base. Ritscher lit himself on fire on Friday, November 3. By Friday, November 10, Jennifer Diaz of Chicago set up a site called I heard you, Malachi in honor of his self-immolating act to bring attention to the war in Iraq.

The Pagan Science Monitor has a discussion going on about “Was Malachi Ritscher crazy?” It also had previous discussions on “A martyr for peace: Malachi Ritscher.” Much of the argument seems to be that Ritscher’s act shouldn’t bring attention to mental illness but should, rather, focus on that which he intended for it to do: shift attention to the injustice of the war in Iraq. While I understand that what he did was a symbolic gesture, it has left the few of us who got wind of the story scratching our heads, wondering, “What in the … ?!”

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Saturday Stats

"Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people ages 15 to 24. In 2001, 3,971 suicides were reported in this group."  – National Center for Injury Prevention and Control