2-Year Anniversary: The Long and Winding Road

I’m aware that my blog has taken a significantly dark turn.  This may alienate some of my readers who seek happier, brighter topics. I don’t think my posts have been negative; on the contrary, I think they’ve been positive. Positive and educational.

I’ve been exploring the topic of suicide recently because it’s a subject that’s quite near and dear to me, now more than ever before.

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Thoughts on Bipolar Overawareness Week: Part II

Here are some things that have occurred in my life:

  • racing thoughts
  • spending sprees when I have no money
  • cleaning at odd hours of the night
  • thinking that I’m the most amazing job interviewer ever
  • worrying that people are watching me through video cameras or the wall in public bathroom stalls
  • afraid that a video camera exists in our bedroom (I know it doesn’t. I think?)
  • talking to "friends" who don’t really exist
  • disobeyed parents
  • talked back to authority
  • suicide attempts
  • rage/anger/hostility/irritability
  • temper tantrums
  • violent outbursts
  • socially awkward
  • extreme mood swings (happy to sad or angry in the same day)
  • doing things and barely remembering them
  • memory loss/forgetfulness
  • chronic fatigue
  • indecisiveness
  • no interest in sleep
  • inability to focus on one thing for an extended period of time/lack of concentration
  • anxious about being around people I don’t know/don’t like
  • anxious to go out and spend time with friends and/or family
  • impulsiveness
  • overeating
  • persistent, negative thoughts

All right. So those are some things that have occurred over the course of my life. Let’s see what I diagnoses I can pigeonhole myself into.

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Response to "Mental Health Blogs Going Bye-Bye?"

From one of Furious Seasons’s latest posts:

Mental Health Blogs Going Bye-Bye?

As I noted earlier, there’s a spate of mental health blogs that are going on hiatus of some kind. Now, it’s my sad duty to report that Gianna Kali’s Bipolar Blast blog is going on an indefinite hiatus as well. You can read her post "Quitting?" for the details. Bottom line: all those years of very high doses of psych meds seem to have injured her body. I cannot even begin to send her enough good wishes. I cannot even begin to express my disgust with some of the bad doctors she ran into over the years.

Also, the Psych Survivor blog, written by a man I only know as Mark, was taken down a few weeks ago, and from what I gather he is in the hospital with heart problems. His was/is a good and strident voice on these issues we all care about and his work is missed.

All of this kind of makes me feel glum, since the two people above had been at the blogging game for well over a year and I sensed that they’d both be around long-term. These are people I care about and it sucks that they won’t be the presence they once were.

Why is it that mental health blogs are so difficult to do and keep going? Why is it so hard for them to find the substantial audiences they deserve? The Internet is crowded with blogs about politics, technology, gadgets, gossip and parenting and many of these seem to do quite well and have huge audiences and long lives, despite the fact that many of them are merely echoes of one another. Are readers of blogs that simple-minded that all they need is the latest news and opinion on Apple’s or Microsoft’s latest bit of software or Obama’s or Hillary’s latest gaffe?

You’d think in a country where 10 percent of the population is on anti-depressants and another 5 percent to 10 percent is likely on some other psych med that there would be a substantial audience for these issues (regardless of what one makes of the dominant mental health paradigm), especially given how wildly popular neuroscience is on the Net. It makes me wonder if we all–and here I include myself–have done something wrong in how we analyze these issues (are we too contrarian?) or if we all simply haven’t been crowded out of the big search engines (that’s how most people find mental health information online) because the Net is so over-populated with pharma sites and allied pro-pharma health websites. I can certainly say that the mainstream media–which usually loves writing about characters on the Net who push against life’s many intellectual tides–has given very little attention to sites like this one, despite the fact that sites like mine have been a very real service to many in the media.

Or maybe the mainstream approach to mental health care is right and the public is just trying to tell us something.

What do you think?

I’ll tell you what I think.

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