Mailman, Bring Me No More Blues

Colonial Williamsburg I’m taking a hiatus from this blog through the beginning of September. I might make a post here and there but nothing consistent. The Quotes of the Week are automatic. Be patient with me if I don’t respond to emails right away. And I’ll be on vacation in Colonial Williamsburg the last week of August. It’ll be my first time going there so let me know if you’ve been there and the places I simply MUST visit.

Things have been very crazy lately. My husband was suffering from intense depression and panic attacks last week (stemming from the way his grandfather died), and I’ve been going through a rough patch of depression myself. I am always tired and have no energy despite my morning cup o’ joe. (I’ve also realized that I need to beef up on my iron intake. no pun intended… well, maybe)

On Friday, my OB/GYN informed me that I suffered a ruptured cyst in my ovary in early July and that I need to go on birth control to flush it out of my system and regulate my ovulation. I took one pill yesterday but read the side effects: clots here, clots there, liver disease, high blood pressure, and stroke/heart attack risks everywhere. Considering I’m not suicidal right now, I don’t feel like shortening my life and ruining my health. I’ll suffer through my painful ovulations, thankyouverymuch.

childrenI’ve recently noticed that August has become a typical month for me to get significantly depressed (see sample posts from Augusts 2007 and 2006). Being aware of this now, I plan to keep August 2009 particularly free of all commitments. Therefore, as I was silly enough to volunteer as staff for my church’s Vacation Bible School this week, I will never do it again. Not only that, but I hate having to deal with 10 or more kids for extended periods of time. The morning could not have moved any slower. (And I had to make crafts with the kids and I LOATHE crafts. I’d be the most boring mother on the face of the planet.)

I went to a KT Tunstall concert Friday night at the Borgata in Atlantic City and a Neil Diamond concert at Wachovia Center in Philly on Saturday night. The concerts were great, but man, did those events make things even more stressful. I was on pins and needles all of last week because my husband seemed to always be on the verge of a breakdown and I was having a tough time just trying to sludge through the week. I didn’t even make it to work for 2 days because my husband was so depressed that he stayed home not to mention I ALSO was suffering from depression. I’m losing money from not working, which has me flipping out a bit but I really need this time to myself. I’m not fully functional. If I had a full-time job to hold down, I’d be in the hospital again. Thank God for this freelancing gig that gives me the opportunity to focus on my mental health when I need to.

This post has become a senseless rant as I’m still exhausted and thinking incoherently. Please pray for Michelle ( who’s going through a severe depression and rejoice with Gianna ( who is finally off of Risperdal.

7 thoughts on “Mailman, Bring Me No More Blues

  1. Dear Marissa,
    I hope you vacation proves rejuvenating…it sounds like both you and your husband need that…
    peace to you…I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers…and thanks for rejoicing with me!

  2. I hope you have a good vacation and that it helps lift the depression(s).
    Re: BC pills and cysts, those just shrink the cyst, and doesn’t really do much else. If it had not of burst/ruptured it would be worse. (in other words, no surgery and it’s gone).
    I had that when I was 25(the pain is awful)but it never returned to incapacitation. Just take advil and that’s all you need to do..(so in other words, I agree with not using the BC pill because they can also induce mania).
    Hang in there, summertime depression is common, so you are not alone, and your husband’s depression is completely expected in my opinion!
    ((hugs to you both))

  3. Marissa,
    Just try to relax, enjoy your vacation and give your hubby support.Try to find some quiet time. You have helped others so hopefully others will step up and help you. I’ll second the hugs to you and your hubby.

  4. PS– it’s OK to not want to teach VBS again! Oh my gosh I’ve there! Though I read this and it made me glad I like my job, so thanks because school is about to start and i love teaching, and at times it gets overwhelming and this gave me perspective that it’s not everyone’s cup-o-tea, so I should be grateful for work in September.
    Anyway, again have a nice break, you both deserve it.

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