I do not watch movies often. Mainly because I think I could be doing something more useful during the time I spend watching a movie. I’m not knocking anyone who enjoys watching movies — my husband does — but they’re usually too long for me. Like an hour to an hour and a half too long.
Which is why I love the site Movies in Fifteen Minutes. It’s sort of a parody retelling mixed in with actual events of the movie that takes about 15 minutes to read. I read Cloverfield to my husband (who saw it and hated it) and he said that it was pretty close to the movie. Therefore, I figure her humorous spin on movies, while off-kilter, is slightly accurate and gets the gist across.
So when I saw that Cleolinda Jones, author of the blog, had a write-up of M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening, I was excited. It was one of the few movies I’d wanted to see since I love The Sixth Sense and heard a lot of good reviews about The Village. However, before giving her take on the movie, Jones writes:
It’s just as bad as you’ve heard. I went in hoping that people were just being harsh on Shyamalan out of habit… They really… aren’t.
(Spoiler/ending revealed under post continuation)
Basically, what’s “happening” is that everyone is committing suicide. There’s something in the trees (or the wind or the air or whatever) that causes people to kill themselves in various ways. Hanging, jumping off buildings, shooting themselves, slitting wrists… it’s all there. First of all, the concept of trees (or the wind or the air or whatever) causing people to kill themselves is dumb enough and then an entire movie of people going around killing themselves (what initially appears to be for no reason) is even worse. As if I don’t have enough ideas swirling around in my head already. If you struggle with suicidal thoughts like I do, just go read Jones’ funny recount of the movie and avoid watching the seriously graphic nature of it.
I’m glad I didn’t spend the money to go see it at the theater. (I almost did.) I would have walked out.
By the way, if you saw the movie and have a different opinion, please feel free to let me know. I read Jones’ summary to my movie-crazy husband and he’s turned off from seeing it too.