Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley

Stuart Smalley

I received this forward and it sounds like something from the SNL skit, “Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley,” but it cheered me up and found it worthwhile. Just something to keep in mind when you hear the lie in your head that “No one loves you.” (I think that ALL the time despite a very supportive and caring husband.)

P.S. I had NO idea that Al Franken was on SNL. I always thought it was Mike Myers. Oops.

Tequila and Salt

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where you can read it every day. You may not realize it, but it’s 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

I don’t know what the “tequila and salt” is, and (of course) I removed the “send this to 100 people (including me) in the next 15 minutes because then you and everyone else will know that you’re truly loved and not a really selfish person.” After reading and contemplating the forward, I realize much of it is true. People have teased me throughout my whole life because they were jealous. (It sounds incredibly vain, but I’ve got examples to prove my point.) I’ve gone around with so much insecurity about myself despite my intelligence, ability to sing, and half-decent looks.

  • High school classmates cut me down and made me feel like I was too smart to have friends. My intelligence garnered me a plethora of friends in college and allowed me to snag my husband.
  • Other h.s. classmates called me a “freak” because my intellectual abilities couldn’t keep me from dancing as well as the rest of them. (By the way, no one else was labeled a “freak” but me. I wasn’t doing anything incredibly egregious because a friend came up to me later and complimented my ability to dance.)
  • Fellow musicians railed on my ability to sing telling me that I was “off-key” and “flat.” As an insecure teen, I stopped singing in public as a result. A few years later, a woman at CVS Pharmacy who overhead me singing with the background music told me that I had a “beautiful” voice. My confidence hasn’t been fully restored but I now know that the harsh criticism I received were lies.
  • Friends and classmates tried to change my looks. I suppose I have a “natural” beauty. I don’t wear makeup mainly because I hate the hassle of it – it takes way too much time when I’d rather just smear chapstick on my lips and go. I also think daily makeup is a bit vain. Everyone else told me that I’d look better if I did this or that: “Marissa, put on eyeliner because you have such beautiful eyes and you’d look so much better” or “Marissa, you need to put gel on your hair and get your hair in place because it would look so much more professional.” (By the way, I’ve always had my hair professionally done since my aunt was a hairdresser.) When I sent my husband a picture for the first time over the Internet (that’s how we met), his response was, “Holy crap. What did I do right?”
  • When I was engaged, a person whom I considered a “best” friend told me I was too young to get married and that my current husband (who’s nearly 5 years older) just wanted to marry me because he needed a wife and was getting old. She later admitted to me that she was jealous because my fiance had shown unconditional love toward me despite my mental illness.
  • I’ve been constantly told by my black peers that I act “too white.” My ability to, um, act “too white” has landed me internships with Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton and a respected national black magazine. A pretty good resume in my opinion. How’s that for being “too white”?

Those are some of the ways that I’ve become insecure and examples of how the truth became distorted by lies. The lies are difficult to overcome because negative comments can become so ingrained despite many compliments. One negative comment can completely negate 10 positive comments and ruin my day. As a people-pleaser, I do my best to try to please everyone and if I can’t make everyone happy, then I’m destroyed by the one person who seems to not care for me despite all the wonderful people who give me love and attention. I don’t like being this way and I’m trying to work on that aspect of myself.

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