First "be" attitude

“It’s not easy being me” ~ Unknown

Be myself.

Real Simple magazineThis is the hardest “be” attitude I could have possibly set for myself. Being myself would require that I meet everyone’s expectations, never disappoint, never get burned out, always say yes and be willing to help.

I need a new definition of being myself, then. I need to define the things that are me.
I like:

  • a few sports (football and baseball namely)
  • writing (anything)
  • singing (anything)
  • acting (anything, even charades)
  • reading (magazines, self-help, thrillers and teen books)
  • exercising on the elliptical trainer
  • walking from the train station to work
  • karaoke
  • board and card games
  • listening to music
  • dancing
  • socializing
  • organizing
  • coming up with ideas
  • being in my comfort zone
  • feeling in control
  • sleeping
  • attention from people I’m not close to
  • exotic/rare vacations
  • time to myself

I don’t like:

  • weight training
  • watching more than one movie per day (unless I really like the 2nd movie)
  • drinking soda (anymore)
  • implementing ideas
  • having to socialize with people I don’t know
  • being taken OUT of my comfort zone
  • feeling like I’m at a disadvantage
  • having to watch my weight
  • having to control my eating portions
  • learning how to swim
  • flying
  • outdoorsy stuff except for the beach

Inspired by a journal entry from Livejournal, I realize that what the author says is very true of me as well:

“As I’m trying to FIX myself, I’m having a difficult time finding ME…. I can’t be addicted to healthy eating/exercise… And I’m not just saying I can’t, I’m saying that is not who I am. All this time, I thought I was a failure because I could not accomplish these goals… I could not become these things that I thought I was supposed to be. Now I see, it isn’t about failure. It’s about finding who I am.” — myownrendition

Now, as I learn to “be myself,” I have to remain true to the things I’ve identified. I’m usually open to new things but sometimes I’ll pretend to be interested in something just to make a new friend or I’ll pretend to have general knowledge so I don’t look stupid. Being true to myself means admitting that I don’t know everything and that I don’t like everything.

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