Sitting on the dock of the bay

    My depression has been at bay. A new job with no stress, a
marriage to a wonderful man and time to myself have kept me content for
the most part. My obsession with New York is still an issue, but mainly
for the the magazine industry that I’d like to get into rather than the
place itself. I’ve been thinking about my "big picture goals" as Julie Morgenstern
puts it and one of them is to begin my own Christian magazine for
single and career women. Therefore, in looking at ways to achieve my
goal, really, I don’t need to work at a major magazine in NY
(although, I’d love to). There are three major magazines in the
Philadelphia area that I can work with and I’d like to do whatever I
can to pursue one of them. I’m learning to modify my goals to make them
work for my location and my marriage. Living in New York is no longer
realistic and I need to let go of that dream – mainly because my
husband hates New York and all things mass transit. But
it is realistic for me to consider living in a suburban area with
access to New York City: my husband will be content in the suburbs and
I’d be more than happy to work in my favorite city in the world.
Modifying my goals is something I will consistently need to do,
especially when I have kids. (!!!)
    We have found a
new apartment about two minutes from the train station and 10 minutes
from the hubby’s job. It’s quite convenient. The location saves both of
us gas, parking fees, sleep and all sorts of other assorted things.
It’s a bit pricey but well worth it when we think of why we made this
move. We spend a lot of time together now – just enough to satisfy the
both of us – are able to do the things that we want to do and have a
life we enjoy. I can honestly say that I enjoy my life now. Things
don’t always work out the way I want and sure I get sad about things,
but I haven’t been depressed in some time. But external circumstances
are working in my favor and I tend to perk up when external
circumstances are status quo.
    I’m also attempting to
overcome fear. I’m trying to take risks – as small as picking up the
phone and calling for an appointment with a doctor I’ve never seen. I’m
trying to organize a group in the Philadelphia area of young media
professionals. The main chapter is in NY (of course) but there are
small chapters around the country and I’m spearheading Philly’s! I’ve
prepared myself for major turnover since I’m so close to NY but I’ll
never know if it will work if I don’t try. (My lame attempt at social
    I’m hoping to revamp my blog’s layout. I
don’t know many blogspot pages with three-column layouts but that’s
what I’ll shoot for. In the meantime, I’ve updated the "Resources"
Commentary on depression-related news to come soon…
The Madonna concert at Madison Square Garden last week was simply
excellent. I enjoyed myself despite walking through torrential
downpours to get there.

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